Sandra A Doron LCSW
I am very frustrated and angry at my husband. As soon as he walks in
the door, he goes right to our children, kisses them, hugs them, and
responds to their needs. I feel like a stranger in my own house.
Although I live indoors, I might as well be living in a shed in the back
of the house for all the attention he gives me.
Wish- I- Was- Noticed
Dear Wish- I ĖWas- Noticed:
Every person, whether in a couples relationship or any other type of
relationship wants and needs to be acknowledged. Making your
relationship with your spouse a priority is a gift to your children.
There are a few reasons why partners do not acknowledge each other when
they walk in the door: 1) they donít know that this is important to
their spouse 2) they donít think itís important to greet their partner
3) they are angry or irritated, or upset with their partners, and may be
consciously or unconsciously avoiding them or ignoring them.
If you have not already done so, you may want to make some time to
speak specifically to your husband about this issue, and ask him if he
is aware that he does not greet you when he walks in the door. If he is
angry or if youíve had an argument the night before, or that morning, it
may be helpful to agree to talk about that particular argument. Many
couples find it helpful to address that particular argument with each
other before going to sleep that same night. They agree to set aside 15
to 30 minutes before going to bed, and then to acknowledge one thing
they did or said that was right, and take responsibility for one thing
each said or did that was hurtful. If your husband does not think itís
important to greet you when he comes home, talking about this often
gives each other an understanding of the otherís objections, which could
be as simple as ďI never did it when I was growing up in my parentsí
home, and donít understand why itís so important to you.Ē He may also
think that being with the children as soon as he walks in the door would
be pleasing to you. It seems that if you speak about it with him, and
convey your feelings openly and honestly, this issue could be resolved.
Sandra A Doron LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She heads
the A & A Couples Counseling Centeró Appreciate and AcceptóKeys to a